More Crochet, this time FnaF amigurumi!

So as I have mentioned,  my boys asked me to make five nights at Freddy’s teddy bears for them, so I decided to learn to crochet.

I used Youtube videos to learn and then I found this pattern for these FnaF teddy bear/amigurimi.

It was much easier than I thought it would be even as I had to use youtube a few times to see what I was suppose to do, (did not know/understand all the abbreviations in the pattern).

 

         

 

I am VERY happy with the result… and off to do the next one, FnaF Bunny, so both boys have one made by Mamma (mamma=mom).

Learning to crochet

So I decided to learn to crochet, my boys asked me to make five nights at Freddy’s teddy bears for them.

That required me to learn how to crochet, so I went for it!!!

 

Practice… practice makes perfect or something close to it…

 

Tying out this amigurumi, to prepare for making the teddy’s, it went fine, not perfect but gave me an idea how to do this and what to watch out for as I go for the next project.

Using this Video to make it!

  

Knitting the Ærmeling

So I took on the knitting project, ærmelingit was fun, and went better than I expected it would with only 3 years of knitting experience.

 

This part was SO much work….

My first time changing colors…. was fun and I learned a few new things….

I learned this is a lot of work and takes time!!!

 

The final product… I am so happy with my Ærmeling, I will most likely make few more as these are just so cute and fun!!!

 

Hard work…

Loosing those extra kilograms is hard work and finally, the weight began going down, 80,6 kg. I am getting there, slowly, now, but I just have to keep up with the hard work involved to get to my final goal.

It is not easy, sometimes I really have to rein myself in and remind myself, that the amount of workout I have to do just to eat some delicious thing is not what I actually want to do, as I HATE workouts. I do not deny myself anything, I just choose to say ‘no’ to those things more often than not… but potato’s are very hard for me to say no to, and I don’t, but I have to control the amount I allow myself to eat.

I have changed the way I eat and what I eat and over time it has become much easier than I would have expected. Now I get disappointed if I can not have veggies or salad as part of my dinner.

To make this happen, it required me to make the decision, that NOW, I was going to do this and be selfish, take the time to exercise, to require salad to be big part of the dinner table and the budget. To ask my family to support me and for understanding as I allow myself to be selfish so that I can work hard on making this change.

I am actually very privet person…

I turned 40 this year, and I was so sure I was going to be all about sharing and writing on this site but it turned out I am actually very privet person, more than I was aware of.

I am very selective about what I actually share about my self and my life. I can see now how Facebook was an easy way to share without actually having to share real things.

Maybe I need to ease myself into this and start small…

 

So what is going on now:

I am working hard on loosing some weight. I do 30 minutes of brisk walk 5-6 days a week, and do my best to eat less, so far so good… I have managed to get down to 83 kg but I have been stuck there for about a month now, so I am feeling the frustration and just want to eat everything in sight. I am trying very hard not to give in.

Then the other frustrating part, is that, last time I managed to loose weight I got down to 83 kg but never got past that, as my husband was hit with stress and depression. I did not have the energy to keep working on weight loss along with everything else that was going on, so slowly I gained the weight back and went back up, got to 96 kg.

So right now I am struggling with this, trying to keep my focus and not giving up.

 

Mindfulness, bad for my health.

A while back my husband told me repeatedly that doing mindfulness body scanning, for him, was good and he could feel the benefits of it. Urging me to try it from time to time, I figured there is no harm in trying it with him, why not, I had no idea of the horror I was about to embark upon.

It was a 10 minute program that felt like at least 5 hours to me. We are in the bed, on our backs and ready for the speaker to begin. It started well, relax feel your body and this and that, then breath all the way down to your toes, feel the breath all the way and then it all went horrible wrong, I felt my toes, Cold and not just cold they felt like ice-cubes.

I desperately tried to ignore it, and tried not to feel the cold emanating from them, as they taunted me with the ice-cube picture that now was imprinted in my head but this was nothing compared to what was about to come!

As the speaker continues, I feel an itch around my ankle, not that bad, I ignore it, keep breathing and then there is another itch, this time on my shin, ignoring it as well and breath, hard! This is all it the first minute of the program! Breathing, breathing into each part of the body and feel it, turns out I feel many places that itch and my toes are now turning into icebergs.

I do not want to disturb my husband as I know this works for him. I try desperately to relax but as the speaker moves the breathing and ‘feeling’ to new places on the body I become stiff, feeling more places that itch and want so much to attack, with my long nails, to get the satisfaction that comes with it but NO, I try to ignore it so my husband can finish his body scanning thing.

I am hoping the horror would be over soon, no, that was not the case. The speaker now guides the breathing and ‘feeling’ to the face, at this point, there are tears streaming from my eyes to my ears, and we all know that it can tickle to the border of itching which makes us want to scratch it, plus now I was feeling itchy near my nose. My body is tense, I am having a hard time breathing and keeping my hands still. I thought that the face was the final spot, now the end was in sight, NO it was NOT!

The speaker goes on, “now find the spot that is bothering you the most and breath and feel”, I am screaming in my head, at this point. I can not take this any more, this is torture, but I hold on using all of my stubbornness to keep still and I have a lot of it but at this point in time I feel it running out.

As the last few minutes stretch out I just want to tell my husband that I did not need this S*** as I am very relaxed all the time and I know how to relax without help from some crazy person that wants me to feel this and that, but I don’t…

When the speaker finally is guiding the way out of the breath and feeling state, the last step is using three rings of a bell to exit the meditation. When the first bell rings, my hand springs into action, before I could even stop it, it was at my neck scratching away, the other hand joined in and gave my face the much needed relief, then my nails could attacking the rest of the spots that had been torturing me the entire time. I felt hysterical, I cried and had a hard time breathing, done with that, I finally could relax.

NEVER AGAIN!

If I need to relax I will do it the way I know works for me..

I will go shooting with an bow and arrow… that is relaxing!!!

Or… Take a book, find a good spot to read and relax!

 

Losing some weight

I have been working on losing some weight, on the 4th of Nov. 2017, I began registering the results, the week before I begun registering my weight loss with more details, I weighed 96.6 kg.

It has been going alright, so far.

So, what I did was changing my eating habit. First, instead of only 1-2 meals pr. day, I increased it to 4, three light meals and dinner. Even if I was fine with only one or two meals per day, I guess my body was not so pleased. But because I work nights and have this thing called delayed sleep phase syndrome, I am awake all night anyway, therefor I planed my meals at 02, 05:30 (2h before bedtime), 15:00 (when I wake up) and dinner at 18:00.
Some adjustments are needed when I take my Melatonin pills, Circadin, and I am actually awake during the day time (the pills do not always work on me). When it works, I have breakfast in the morning with my family, lunch around 12 and one more light meal around 15 then dinner at 18.

Dato: 04/11 Dato: 31/12
KG: 94.9 KG: 91.6
BMI: 33.6 BMI: forgot to write it down

 

But with December so soon after I begun this, I have to admit, it was SO difficult to keep the momentum going. During Christmas and new years I did enjoy the unhealthy ‘good’ stuff, maybe a little too much. So with the new year I decide to push for more weight loss, because this time, I want to succeed! Therefore I made the decision on 7th of January to begin the Boiled egg diet. Two weeks with a lot of eggs, chicken, veggies and fruit.

I kept to the plan for the most part, I did replace the fish and tuna with chicken.
I also had some pecan nuts when cravings or feelings of hunger came along, but never more then 5-10 pieces.
I also did not eat any cheese, not much of a cheese person and the bread was replaced with Rugbrød (Danish style rye bread).
At day 12 I could feel that I needed fiber so I chose to change the plan for that day and for lunch I had 2 pieces of rugbrød with egg on it and then the chicken for dinner and salad.
I also made changes to day 13 and 14, I switched the lunch and dinner around, as I was working night shifts those days so I needed the chicken for dinner to keep myself going during my shift.

I found that I was not as hungry as I thought I would be and it was relatively easy to stick to the diet. Only one thing, that made it not so easy, was seeing my husband and two my boys having pizza and my favorite pasta dish for dinner, that required me to be as stubborn as possible to keep going. The first week and half was easy but the second part of week two was more challenging, I was feeling I had had enough eggs at that point in time. The last two days were the hardest, so close to the goal and dreaming of normal food again, made it difficult.

Here is the results:

Date: 07/01 Date: 14/01 Date: 21/01
KG: 90.4 KG: 87.0 KG: 87.5
BMI: 33.6 BMI: 32.3 BMI: 32.5
Body fat: 48.2% Body fat: 45.6% Body fat: 46.1%
Body water: 36.3% Body water: 37.7% Body water: 37.4%
Body muscle: 28.2% Body muscle: 28.9% Body muscle: 28.8%

 

The 2nd week was harder and yielded nothing which was very disappointing. But looking at the numbers and the increased water in the body, it might have something to do with that time of the month (and the Mirena hormone coil), then again it could be the amount of salt used while consuming so many eggs as Sodium makes the body retain water. How the body fat could have gone up 0.5% is a mystery to me, but the show must go on, so only thing to do, is keep going and change those numbers.

Of course I did have a plan for after the diet, so I can avoid eating all the weight back. I will go back to the 4 meals per day. Rugbrød (Danish style rye bread) and eggs will be more a part of the three light meals, and more fruits and veggies.

Dinner, I have two rules I have to do, find out how many calories (approximately) are in the food I am about to eat to be aware of how much exercising might be needed to keep loosing the weight, the other thing is, to only have one serving and no more.

And then, the next step in my plan, the dreaded thing… find an exercise plan/program and begin…

 

Here is the Boiled egg diet plan I followed without the alterations I made:

Monday – day 1
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and half a grapefruit (squeezed)
Lunch: Two slices whole grain bread and apple (you can include boiled quinoa instead of bread – much better)
Dinner: Grilled chicken and green salad (literally whatever veggie you want)

Tuesday – day 2
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and fruit (whichever you prefer)
Lunch: Grilled chicken and green salad
Dinner: Two boiled eggs, orange, and green sala

Wednesday – day 3
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and fruit
Lunch: Low fat cheese, combined with one tomato, and one slice of bread
Dinner: Grilled chicken and salad

Thursday – day 4
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and fruit
Lunch: Fruit (go and knock yourself out)
Dinner: Boiled or steamed chicken

Friday – day 5
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs
Lunch: Two boiled eggs and steamed veggies
Dinner: Grilled fish and green salad

Saturday – day 6
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs
Lunch: Fruit (enjoy – you know the drill)
Dinner: Steamed chicken and green salad

Sunday – day 7
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and fruit
Lunch: Grilled chicken, tomato, and green vegetables
Dinner: Steamed veggies (lots of it!)

Monday – day 8
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs
Lunch: Grilled chicken plus green salad
Dinner: Two boiled eggs, grapefruit, green salad

Tuesday – day 9
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs plus half a grapefruit
Lunch: Two boiled eggs plus steamed veggies (a lot of these!)
Dinner: Grilled fish and green salad

Wednesday – day 10
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and fruit
Lunch: Chicken (grilled or boiled) and green salad
Dinner: Two boiled eggs, grapefruit and green salad

Thursday – day 11
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and fruit
Lunch: Low fat cheese, two boiled eggs, and steamed vegetables
Dinner: Steamed chicken and green salad

Friday – day 12
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and some fruit
Lunch: Canned tuna plus green salad
Dinner: Two boiled eggs and green salad

Saturday – day 13
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs and fruit
Lunch: Grilled chicken and salad
Dinner: Fruit (enjoy yourself)

Sunday – day 14
Breakfast: Two boiled eggs
Lunch: Steamed veggies and steamed chicken
Dinner: veggies

Social-media free, almost 2 weeks.

So… for almost 2 weeks, I have been social-media free.

It has been… difficult, at times, as my finger seems to find the Facebook icon on my phone, very easily, and I have to stop myself. The few times I have managed to press that icon I have immediately shut it down and put my phone, far away from me. The good news is that, on the computer, it is much easier as I have to type it in the browser and I just do not do that, easy.

The time away from Facebook has been, wonderful but at the same time challenging.

I have this feeling of missing out, not knowing what is going on, but at the same time I feel under less pressure… and free from, a form for disturbance and nuisance, that I was not even aware, was affecting me.

It turns out that I have much more time on my hands but I also feel like I have to figure out, how to use that time, again…

This has been hard and still is but I feel that this is getting easier and I feel that I am getting my life and my time back, now I just need to figure out how to use it.

I have made this blog my place, my home and I write my thoughts and ideas here instead. The best part, I can share these posts on social-media platforms without going on there.

 

Interesting… and SO true…

Facebook… or what is left of it…

After I came back from visiting fiends and family in Iceland, I realized how much I have missed everyone and wanted to see more of what people were up to, via Facebook. The disappointment and realization, that Facebook was actually not providing me with what I wanted and what I was used to, back in the beginning of Facebook, left me to reconsider the part Facebook has in my life.

And the thing is… Facebook is not working for me, not anymore.

I used to like it, as I was able to log in and see chronologically what people were personally posting and I could keep up with the people I know, without having expensive phone bill. I could go on Facebook and scroll until I reached the posts I had already seen and then I was done.

It was all good… but, no more…

Now it is filled with advertising… showing me stuff, someone I know, liked or commented on… the share, tag and like, to win, posts… and to find chronologically what people are actually posting, is not that easy anymore…

So the decision is made, I will not be using Facebook much anymore, I will be using the chat feature, as it is, still, an easy way to keep in touch with everyone, as most people I know use Facebook. I will no longer scroll the feed on Facebook. Of course there are situations that I can not avoid Facebook, for example to see what the football club, my son goes to, is posting.

But… I, also, want to have the personal interaction back in my life, as much as one can, so I intend to be better at actually calling or writing, all the wonderful people, I have in my life… (baby steps… I will get there…)

 

and writing on this blog, instead of Facebook, when the need to share overtakes me…

The odds are I might share on Facebook my blog posts… but not be active on Facebook much more than that.

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